Kink Bingo - Gender Play
Sep. 27th, 2011 01:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
setos_puppyTitle: Binary
Fandom: Angel
Pairing/Characters: Connor, mentions of Connor/Faith and Connor/Andrew
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 790
Warning: Bisexuality?
Summary: Connor isn't like other boys
Disclaimer: Not mine they belong to Joss et al
Notes: Part of my endeavor into![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
kink_bingo for my Gender Play square.
Dedication: Dedicated to Snark and Jane
There are days when he spends upwards of an hour standing in front of his closet trying to figure out what to wear. Staring at the polarized sides of the closet – the left side female, the right side male – meeting in the middle with an androgynous mix of the two. There are days when he spends less than two minutes.
He suspects it's just another layer to who he is.
Child of two vampires.
A girl with a boy's name.
A boy with breasts (no matter how small they were) and a vagina.
Perspective.
There are days when he feels like a girl. There are days when he feels like a boy. There are days when he feels like both. There are days when he feels like neither.
He remembers the exact moment when he realized he was... different. It had happened in Qur'toth, as much of his life had. He had to be fifteen or sixteen. It was hard to tell when time was relative, when it moved quickly and days and hours stretched. He had been raised with the neutral name of Alex for the span of time in the Hell dimension with Holtz. He had thought himself a normal boy – just like the man he had come to identify as his father – he had been treated as such.
He thought he was.
Until he had seen Holtz changing by accident.
They hadn't matched.
It had led to long conversations. Long questions on what exactly that had meant. He had remembered Holtz telling him he had been named Connor by the vampire who was his biological father. He inquired as to why but never received an answer until he had left the dimension. He had been given a boy's name and had been intended to be raised as male due to the prophecies. The words set in blood and stone that he was of the male variety.
Stupid prophecies.
He defied them. He was his own person.
He remembered the first time he had been completely referred to as other. The day Angelus called him a dickless man when locked in his box under the hotel. The next day was the first time he wore a dress. It had felt right and strange at the same time. No one batted an eyelash. It had been a welcome response.
The next time came when Willow had met him for the first time. She had called him “Angel's attractive yet androgynous daughter”. He had sneered at her. Called himself Connor. She had nodded and moved on.
It was strange but comforting the way his otherness. His difference was accepted in stride without hesitation or reprimand. The way he had been left alone to find himself.
The first time he ever been intimate with someone had been with Faith. It had been rushed in the bathroom of his bedroom in the hotel. Her fingers had pressed deep inside of his body, her thumb pressed against his clit while he clumsily worked his way into her leather pants and panted into her neck. It had been a rushed, desperate, needy attempt to reaffirm livelihood. A quick celebration of defeating the Beast.
She left L.A five days later.
The first time he actually fucked someone it had been Andrew. He had gone to Rome when his dad took over Wolfram and Hart. He couldn't stomach bureaucracy. He had met up with the Watcher in training through Faith. They hit it off almost immediately. Andrew accepted his gender fluidity with all the grace and awkwardness in the world.
Connor loved him for it.
He remembered their first time. After a marathon of cheesy horror movies. Andrew had begged to be fucked. He had bent Andrew over and went to town. Forty-five minutes later Andrew responded in kind.
Six days later they, along with Faith and another girl named Bridget, flew back to L.A to help with the impending likely end of the world-esque trouble.
He remembered the look on his father's face the moment he stepped into his wide office. He had dressed in a mix of feminine and masculine; a pair of knee-length jeans, a wife-beater, a plaid skirt and combat boots complete with leather jacket. It had been worth the long flight.
They had been briefed and hunkered down to work on fighting the problem.
When a demon he had ended up facing off against called him a sissy he had gone slightly postal. He had bashed in his head in until green ooze slicked his hands and wiped them off on his ripped shirt and jeans before moving out of the alleyway.
He was Connor.
He was his father's son.
Whatever that entailed.
Nothing else mattered.
Fandom: Angel
Pairing/Characters: Connor, mentions of Connor/Faith and Connor/Andrew
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 790
Warning: Bisexuality?
Summary: Connor isn't like other boys
Disclaimer: Not mine they belong to Joss et al
Notes: Part of my endeavor into
kink_bingo for my Gender Play square.Dedication: Dedicated to Snark and Jane
There are days when he spends upwards of an hour standing in front of his closet trying to figure out what to wear. Staring at the polarized sides of the closet – the left side female, the right side male – meeting in the middle with an androgynous mix of the two. There are days when he spends less than two minutes.
He suspects it's just another layer to who he is.
Child of two vampires.
A girl with a boy's name.
A boy with breasts (no matter how small they were) and a vagina.
Perspective.
There are days when he feels like a girl. There are days when he feels like a boy. There are days when he feels like both. There are days when he feels like neither.
He remembers the exact moment when he realized he was... different. It had happened in Qur'toth, as much of his life had. He had to be fifteen or sixteen. It was hard to tell when time was relative, when it moved quickly and days and hours stretched. He had been raised with the neutral name of Alex for the span of time in the Hell dimension with Holtz. He had thought himself a normal boy – just like the man he had come to identify as his father – he had been treated as such.
He thought he was.
Until he had seen Holtz changing by accident.
They hadn't matched.
It had led to long conversations. Long questions on what exactly that had meant. He had remembered Holtz telling him he had been named Connor by the vampire who was his biological father. He inquired as to why but never received an answer until he had left the dimension. He had been given a boy's name and had been intended to be raised as male due to the prophecies. The words set in blood and stone that he was of the male variety.
Stupid prophecies.
He defied them. He was his own person.
He remembered the first time he had been completely referred to as other. The day Angelus called him a dickless man when locked in his box under the hotel. The next day was the first time he wore a dress. It had felt right and strange at the same time. No one batted an eyelash. It had been a welcome response.
The next time came when Willow had met him for the first time. She had called him “Angel's attractive yet androgynous daughter”. He had sneered at her. Called himself Connor. She had nodded and moved on.
It was strange but comforting the way his otherness. His difference was accepted in stride without hesitation or reprimand. The way he had been left alone to find himself.
The first time he ever been intimate with someone had been with Faith. It had been rushed in the bathroom of his bedroom in the hotel. Her fingers had pressed deep inside of his body, her thumb pressed against his clit while he clumsily worked his way into her leather pants and panted into her neck. It had been a rushed, desperate, needy attempt to reaffirm livelihood. A quick celebration of defeating the Beast.
She left L.A five days later.
The first time he actually fucked someone it had been Andrew. He had gone to Rome when his dad took over Wolfram and Hart. He couldn't stomach bureaucracy. He had met up with the Watcher in training through Faith. They hit it off almost immediately. Andrew accepted his gender fluidity with all the grace and awkwardness in the world.
Connor loved him for it.
He remembered their first time. After a marathon of cheesy horror movies. Andrew had begged to be fucked. He had bent Andrew over and went to town. Forty-five minutes later Andrew responded in kind.
Six days later they, along with Faith and another girl named Bridget, flew back to L.A to help with the impending likely end of the world-esque trouble.
He remembered the look on his father's face the moment he stepped into his wide office. He had dressed in a mix of feminine and masculine; a pair of knee-length jeans, a wife-beater, a plaid skirt and combat boots complete with leather jacket. It had been worth the long flight.
They had been briefed and hunkered down to work on fighting the problem.
When a demon he had ended up facing off against called him a sissy he had gone slightly postal. He had bashed in his head in until green ooze slicked his hands and wiped them off on his ripped shirt and jeans before moving out of the alleyway.
He was Connor.
He was his father's son.
Whatever that entailed.
Nothing else mattered.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-27 07:26 pm (UTC)